Mindless Musings: Free Will and a Kiss on The Cheek
It's slightly absurd to use a trivial moment from a reality TV show to debate free will...and yet I will do it anyway.
For many, Love Island can be seen as trivial, mindless, and superficial—not entirely inaccurate descriptors if you're judging the show on a surface level. However, Love Island’s real entertainment lies in the spectacle it produces and the real-time pulse read on modern romance it provides. Through Twitter feeds, TikTok recaps, and comment sections, you can peek inside the collective psyche—seeing where people land on the spectrum when it comes to red flags, toxic behaviors, beauty standards, courting, emotional regulation, masking, and the like.
At its core, Love Island is a very horny and provocative show, with challenges that seem pulled straight from the mind of Tina Belcher. But its provocation and promiscuity are an uncontested expectation from both the viewer and the contestant. So much so that when original castmate Belle-A opted to kiss prospective suitors on the cheek instead of offering up a good old-fashioned French kiss, Twitter fingers went into a fury.
The shared sentiment from viewers was that, while cute, a kiss on the cheek was too juvenile for the show. This was no venue to practice modesty or exhibit Christian-like morals. This is Love Island, not Christian Mingle.
And while those comments weren’t entirely out of line—and agreed upon by many—the contrarian in me was tickled.
Why not?
Why couldn’t this be the show?
I firmly believe that the greatest gift we have is free will. And in tandem, my biggest pet peeve is when people adhere to expectations instead of exercising their own autonomy. The phrase “that’s how it’s always been” irritates the depths of my soul. A mindset that reaches for that line is one that not only lacks imagination but also belief in its own sovereignty. “This is how it’s always been” doesn’t mean “this is how it has to be.” Expectations are a hamster wheel—it’s the repetition in choosing to abide by expectations that keeps it spinning.
The idea that Belle-A’s actions were simply the result of Christian obedience was interesting, especially because she never actually cited her faith when asked about her reasoning. Her stated boundary was that she doesn’t kiss on the first date and prefers to build a connection before physical intimacy. That boundary isn’t particularly revolutionary; in fact, it’s one that another housemate, Ace, also holds. While he participates in kissing challenges, he has yet to kiss anyone outside of them, choosing instead to build connections through smooth talking and grand gestures (the authenticity of which is… up for debate).
The main difference? Ace doesn’t have a huge diamond cross hanging around his neck, nor did he proudly declare his Christianity on national television.
Belle-A’s boundaries were quickly dismissed as naive and overly moral, likely because of her faith. And this falls in line with a pattern I’ve noticed when it comes to online discourse. When someone proudly claims religion, people tend to strip them of the agency to make decisions outside of that framework. I wonder if Belle-A’s choices would have been met with more curiosity and fewer eye-rolls if her faith hadn’t been named. Once it was, her choice was immediately framed as conservative modesty, erasing the possibility that her decision could have come from free will.
And again I ask:
Why the fuck not?
To go on the horniest reality show on TV and decide not to tongue a stranger—despite the pressure from producers, castmates, and viewers alike—is a choice. And frankly, it’s a pretty punk one.
I’m biased. I’ve always been a fan of anything that goes against the grain. I think there is something fascinating about actions that break expectations—not because of the act itself, but because of the expectation it disrupts.
Why does the expectation exist in the first place?
Is it because we believe it’s the only way to play the game?
Because we like watching hot people make out?
Because we think physical intimacy is the only way to test chemistry?
Because we’ve decided that sexual performance is the height of romantic entertainment?
I get it. I’m no different from the crowd in my shared enjoyment of watching hot people kiss. But I also find it interesting to watch someone go on an intimate show and try to connect with others without relying on intimacy. It introduces tension and cuts through the endless montage of people fumbling to relate to each other beyond mutual attraction and sexual chemistry. While I’m suspicious of Ace’s intentions, I admit it’s been entertaining to watch him try, with silly little gestures like stiff salsa lessons and hibachi-style breakfast.
It’s too easy to frame Belle-A’s behavior as Christian-informed modesty rather than an act of self-determination. She dresses the part of a typical Love Island girl, as her closet is void of milkmaid dresses but filled with Fashion Nova and Princess Polly. She’s not trying to appear modest. And yet, it’s easier for viewers to explain the gap between her actions and their expectations by citing religion rather than acknowledging that she made a different choice. That she simply exercised her free will.
I wouldn’t go so far as to call her action revolutionary and the apex of female empowerment—this is reality TV, after all. But it did take a lot of courage, and she exemplified free will in every sense of the phrase.
To make choices and act independently, without being predetermined by external factors or prior events.
Free will doesn’t lie in the performance, but in the decision whether to perform. And while Belle-A chose not to, her lack of performance was the show, whether viewers noticed or not.